Isn't it interesting...
I ask myself sometimes how I got to where I am and where do I want to go from here. I've always wanted children and thought that someday I would have some of my own. A stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis changes that. The medications I take are proven to harm a developing child. If I went off the medications, the cancer would kill me with the increase of hormones of being pregnant. People say to me, well atleast you can adopt! Actually, I've looked into that option and it would be more difficult than some might think. You see, a stage 4 diagnosis means that life expectancy is not favorable past 5 years. In my case I think life expectancy is favorable, but the "red tape" if you will does not discriminate. U.S. adoption agencies will not allow stage 4-er's to adopt, which actually is in line with many other countries such as China, Guatemala, etc. Unfortunately, surrogacy laws are similar. MAYBE someday if I'm really looking into it and found a private surrogate of my own, it would be allowed.
You see, the biggest disapointment is that I feel as though I have so much to give and I'd be good at it. This is one reason I'm moving back to Pa. I want to be a bigger part of my nephew's life and have a positive influence on him. This is also a reason I'm passionate about my dogs because to me...they may be the only children I ever have.
Don't get me wrong, I'm lucky and fortunate. There are ladies out there that have a very poor prognosis and medicine hasn't caught up to their type of breast cancer just yet. I'm lucky that I have years ahead of me to make a difference. Heck, I might someday take a leap and foster children, but lets get through this move first!
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