Failed Relationships

I'm thankful for failed relationships. As difficult as they may be at times, I indeed learn a thing or two about myself and life.

I once was marriage and really took to my vows. That failure was the MOST difficult of anything in my life, even more difficult emotionally than cancer twice. Our sex life was structured...if not today, then tommorrow. Or a monday, wednesday, friday type schedule. It didn't matter, it didn't work for me. I had a successful career, I did not have time to wait on him hand and foot or need to succumb to hearing "well, that's not how my mother does it" one more time. I was never good enough. I didn't want children by the age of 27 which I was up front about before marriage, but he "thought I was kidding." According to him I needed to quit working and stop having friends and stay in watching tv with him on days that were warm and sunny. What?!?! It's ok, I know I did everything possible to make that relationship work and I can't say the same for the other party, but I think it all worked out for the best for both of us.

How about the guy that raised his voice and yelled at me for ACCIDENTALLY spilling the groceries on the floor at a store in New Mexico? He almost drove off the premises without me at that grocery store in MY rental car. And why did I stay with this guy months later. I'm sorry, that just makes me laugh at this point. He would also yell when we had to wait 15 minutes for a table at a restaurant at home, but yell at me. Uh, again, why?!?!

Bipolar mental illness is a trap. It's just terrible. Try communicating with someone that tends to be manic on regular occasions. He was exciting, interesting, funny, but also delusional in his thinking. No, he didn't need medication or therapy according to him. It was perfectly normal to pull off a person's car bumper after they cut you off in a parking lot. Really?!?!

What about the guy that lies, doesn't know why he lies but it's with good reason. Right, you figure that one out.

Dating someone is not a project, it should not be work...not early on. I'm not complaining. Each of these people also had good attributes, which is why I dated them in the first place. Dating is this complex mechanism in which you determine if your values match up with another person's enough to share your lives together forever. I know it IS possible and while it is not ALWAYS easy that is should be initially. I believe I have learned a lot about myself through failed relationships.

If you stop learning, you have given up...on life...in general.